sour kreuz blurgh

just a quickie post today

we went to check out a part of town called kreuzberg, see what all the fuss was about.
it's supposedly a pretty happening area of berlin.

maybe monday wasn't the best to time to go coz it was kinda boring. (Understatement: was quite boring.)


and, good lord, what a butt ugly shambles too.

sorry to piss on you kreuzy, and i was serious about the timing,
we know we totally came to check you out on the worst possible day for ya.
mondays in berlin are like sundays elsewhere. it's a recovery day, not a show-off-you-wares day.
fo sho it ain't.
nonetheless, you is one crappy looking berg.
though to be fair, I am pretty sure the building above looks like that every day.
(there's satellite dishes everywhere - surely you can mount them on the roof people. just saying.)

and yes yes, i know you suffered through years of neglect, so i ain't blaming you for your down-on-your-luck, sewer-stinking, spit-covered-footpath, shambolic state of affairs. and i know you have some great shit going on behind your vomity roll-up doors.
granted.
so i do feel bad saying you is one ugly assed burb.
i really do.

but facts is facts.

you ugly!

thankfully, street art adorns your walls and adds some visual flavour.

i think we were put on the back foot pretty early
when we went into a cafe to get some coffee, as you do,
and lucy ordered a milch-kaffee mit sojamilch
(which is exactly what it sounds like, a milk coffee with soy milk),
and the waiter dude was all like , 'wha?' and she said it again and he kinda scoffed and was all like,
'ha! no. we haven't succumbed to the soy coup yet'.
douche.
it's not a fad, it's a freakin' necessity if you're allergic to milk, ya moron.
This wasn't that bad, what was worse was the couple sitting next to us who proceeded to stare at me for the entirety of our stay (I made a quick exit as soon as Kent was done to get myself an ACTUAL COFFEE [by this stage it was well into the afternoon, I had had no coffee at all by this stage, was menstrual, everything was bad, you understand]) as well as have a detailed discussion (in German of course, so I couldn't even eavesdrop!) about sojamilch. I am LACTOSE INTOLERANT you fuckers!!! At this stage I was thouroughly missing the comforts of Prenzlauer Berg's fabulous array of flavoured sojamilch options.

but y'know, hey, it's your town, man. we don't have to like it.
that's a.ok.

we found a pretty cool clothes shop, had some really good stuff in it,
like, par examplay, the pants i already bought in copenhagen, which are just fabulous (does anybody else think that that just sounded über campy? [yeeah, I just spent 15 mins trying to google 'shortcut key on a mac for an umlaut over the u. I am dork, what can I say? I know what I can say, I am a dork who now knows how to umlaut that shit up.] sorry Kent, back to you ... ),
although $100 for a tshirt, whilst it was a killer tshirt, was just not doing it for me today.
(Me thinks somebody is hinting for a birthday preseeeent!)

i did, however, totally dig your lamp sculptures and your fern bath.
Me too - Kent, we should totally have a fern bath when we move back to Melbourne. As in, like the one below, not, we should have a bath together with some ferns. That would be weird.


so. that was one part of an otherwise really hyped little neck of the woods. (I concur.)
no doubt we'll back to sample it's various other bits and re-investigate it on a more inviting day.
so all that harsh testament above, coming as it does, from a spoiled western academic type from the antipodes, must be taken with a grain of salt. (We really are brats aren't we.)

'twas but a mere first impression of a clearly hardened and suffered surface.
Oh stop being so nice Kent. It was a boring suburb (not its fault) that has been glorified by one too many pretentious magazines proclaiming it to be the only 'real' Berlin left. What the fuck does that even mean?! Just because I like the park at the end of my street and enjoy my decaf-vanilla-soy-mocha-latte-extra-froth* I'm not in real Berlin?! Fuck off!

*Quite an exaggeration. Like I would drink decaf.