hole lot of rubbish and monkey music

Nice play on 'hole' there Kent.

we've had a really good run of art shows lately, most recently, this great exhibition on chausseestrasse.

i love saying the place names, it sounds so exotic.

anyway, this artist made the sort of work that elicits this kinda response, 

'that's not art, that's just bloody rubbish!'

well, it was rubbish and it was amazing.

The best rubbish I ever saw really. 

so, the gist of it is this:

there's an art foundation in a building, they have offices upstairs, where there is a stockroom of art, a small exhibition area, there's videos playing and projections, a few people busying themselves with administrative tasks at their desks, photocopying contracts, making phone calls. there's even some books you can buy.

and downstairs, they have a massive exhibition space for their shows.

the artist drilled holes through the floor of the offices upstairs, exactly where they have their paper-waste baskets. 

she then set up new bins over the holes, and asked the workers up there to just continue using them, as if they were normal bins.

  Is anybody else thinking of the Occupational Health and Safety implications if this was even suggested in Melbourne? "Of course you can't put a hole there. Someone might fall in and die. Some rubbish might fall on a spectator below, and they might die. Someone may throw an empty peanut bag into the pile, a spectator may be allergic to peanuts, and they might die." 

(To be fair, at the beer pyramid work, we did have to sign a special form saying that it wasn't the beer pyramid's fault if it collapsed while we were on it, and we died.)

just a simple architectural intervention, but genius.

Hilarious!

the invigilator (what a ludicrous title for someone) was very friendly and suggested we go up to the offices upstairs to look. it was all very lovely really. As we gazed chin-scratchinly at some rubbish, the 'invigilator' (seriously Kent, what the fuck) was all like, very conspiratorially 'ooh, if you look at zis pile 'ere, you will zee it might have important zings (slight giggle). it is zee director's rubbish (tee hee). he iz zitting shtraight up zair' and he points up through the hole. The three of us glance up nervously.

brilliant.

thursday night was our first foray out into the berlin gig scene.
Really? Wow, I guess you're right  - how sad. Though this has been the first gig we have actually wanted to go to ... which doesn't make us sound any cooler at all. Sigh.

we've been here for a month and this is the first night out by ourselves  
(by ourselves! hahaha - yes we are children) to a club - we really are hermit crabs.

anyway, bonobo was playing (some dude from the uk who makes lovely chilled out grooves) and he brought along a live band so we figured, what a nice show to see.

tickets were cheap so we snapped 'em up.

it took us a little while to find the joint - buried as it was behind some trees and down a hill next to a bridge.

way way way more tucked away than any street address or google map would have you initially believe.

after shuffling through the least ordered 'queue' i've come across in a while (meaning a giant smoosh of people), we eventually made our way into the venue. although, some douche bag tried to push in, asking to buy a ticket to the sold out gig from the bouncer - please assume thick European accent:

'but i flew in from moscow just for this gig' he pleaded. 

the bouncer was all like, 'that's really not any concern of mine, please stand aside'. Haha no way, he ACTUALLY said "It ees not my fault, zee tickets ah aaall soold owt! Vat can I do?"

ha - flew in from moscow indeed. as if. anyway, there was scalpers all over the shop, he only had to ask one of them.

the venue was really good. big but not too big, pretty good sound system, couches, big bar. once we got through the doors it became apparent what the slow entrance of patrons was caused by - a massive cloak room. i always wondered about that in europe. i couldn't figure out how they'd be able to cater to 500 or more winter coats, scarves, jumpers and beanies all being dumped by the punters somewhere in the venue. well, now i know. they just have massive cloak rooms with about 20 people employed to operate the ticketing system and hang everything up with perfect neatness and order.  
Well der. Where else would everyone's stuff go? Not like at home, where every chick is in her underwear, rain or shine (maybe thinking her spray on tan will keep her warm - oooh!)

the whole operation was apparently non-smoking but you'd be hard pressed to believe it given every third person was smoking, and half of those were joints. ah europe.

bonobo was great.

the live musicians all worked well together (i think normally the music is all composed samples and shit), extending some songs, swinging away and keeping the audience well entertained.

Oooh! So THAT is what it looked like! Being a midget and all, my view for the evening was ...  that blue laser beam in the right hand corner. It was a pretty nice laser, went well with the tunes. I eventually realised standing in the throng was useless unless I was searching for yet another cigarette burn, and snuck away for some daggy dancing by myself at the back.

oh, another fun thing about the bar sitch.

you buy your drinks and they charge you an extra euro per bottle/glass, and give you a casino chip, that you then cash in with your empty bottle when you get your next drink. that way, everyone brings their empties back to the bar and everything is neat and ordered and efficient. (Apparently. I tested this system by returning said bottles and casino chips, had a very confused bar chick stare at me like I was retarded (granted) and then at my bottles, then huff and take them away, and gave me half my refund, probably for clearly being SO retarded. Eh!)

Anyway, we got our gig on, got a good wallop of much needed bass (oh Jesus, this could actually be Kent talking) into our chests and managed to mosey home before the last train. Not quite the tunes to dance all night to, but still extra pleasing to have a non-committal sway to. 

A nice big sleep in sealed off the evening just nicely. 
(That and a 2 and half hour giant milch-kaffee session at Gaudy this morning ... and by morning I clearly mean 1pm.)  

Mmm, being on holidays is nice.